Story - Flash Fiction - Night Of The Trumps!

By Stephen A Abell

Copyright: 4th May 2017

Number Of Words: 300

"Why do cars always break down on a deserted back road?"  She asked dejectedly slamming the passenger door.

"Because they know what scares you, Barbara!"  Kevin's impeccable "Night of the Living Dead" imitation warbled as he peered from behind the bonnet.

"I always hated that name and you tease me with it!"

"But you're a star, Barbara!"

"Oh, Brewster... you're so coooool!"

"Touche!" He smiled, "fucked if I know what's wrong, I'm a doctor Jim, not a mechanic!  You got reception?"

"No.  You?"

"Nah.  Looks like we're walking."

"Great, so are we lookin' for a house with an inverted cross painted in blood on it?"

"Only if we can get help there?"

"Which way?"

"I don't know!  Didn't see a house back there, doesn't mean there wasn't one."

"God, you're no help!  Flip the coin?"

"Yeah, why not(?)"

Barbara pulled a coin from her pocket and called it while it tumbled through the air, "Heads - left"

"To the right then," she announced moving away from the car.

"Let's go die!  Let's go die!"  They chanted as they marched.

Ten minutes later they spotted glints of moonlight reflecting off glass.  Windows.  A house.

"Coin," Kevin commanded, "heads - we knock."

The coin flipped.

"Let's go knock."

Barbara was surprised when lights flickered on after a couple of loud knocks.

"Who the hell is it?"  The voice boomed angrily.

"Sorry, our car broke down.  Do you have a phone we can use to call help?"

"I... er..." Came the slow hesitant response, "yes, just wait a..."

Kevin's foot slammed hard on the door cracking the wood securing the lock.  "Good we'll use it after we're finished."

The last thing the family saw were the sneering faces of two Donald Trump masks and the shimmering blades of the oh-so-sharp knives they carried.

Afterword:

Once again this is for the WdC (writing.com) contest Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.  The prompt this time was - Coin; Road; Slow.

I've been thinking about this opening for a while, to use within the context of another story, though it worked well for what I wanted here.  Sometimes I love to pay homage to other Horror films, books, etc...

So you can obviously spot the Night of the Living Dead reference.  The next is the closing line from the original Fright Night "Oh, Brewster... you're so coooool!"

Of course, there's a Star Trek Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy quip in there to bring a smile to your faces.

Then there are two lines I poached from a brilliant comedian who had me and my friend John pissing ourselves with laughter with his skit on horror movies (shame I cannot remember his name and cannot find the set on youtube - it was brilliant).  He would start by setting the scene of most horror films a group of teens break down in the middle of the night on a deserted road.  The decide to split up into pairs (boy - girl of course) to look for help.  Unfortunately for the guy in the wheelchair, there's always an odd number of people so he has to set off by himself.  As he wheels away into the dark night you can hear him chant, "Let's go die!:  Let's go die!"  Then one of the couples come across a house with an inverted cross painted in blood on it... of course, they decide it's a great place to ask for help.  "Let's go die!:  Let's go die!"  Inside they're attacked by a monster.  The man is killed in a grisly manner while the girl runs into the kitchen and grabs a frying pan.  At which point the unknown comedian goes into a frenzy describing the battle only to end with the monster screaming, "Oh NO!  She's got Teflon...  RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!

If anyone out there knows where I can find a copy of this stand-up routine I'd be grateful.  We originally saw it on Just For Laughs - The Montreal Comedy Festival.  One of the funniest things I've seen and the memory of it still makes me smile.

As for the story, when I reached the ending the idea of the attackers wearing Donald Trump masks just tickled the right dark humour bone and I knew it had to be in the story.  The title exploded with vehemence in my brain and along with the creation of the story's cover picture I was giggling like a madman.  Hope you enjoyed it too.