Movie Review - The Baytown Outlaws

The Baytown Outlaws

2012

Lleju Productions / State Street Pictures : Phase 4 Films / Universal Pictures

7.25 / 10

This movie just goes to prove that even if you have a fantastic and talented cast you still may only come out with a mediocre product.  I did say product as this feels as though the director Barry Battles was aiming to create a cult film.  When will they learn, cult films aren't created... they are born...

It's this feeling that Battles was trying so hard to create something visually stunning, fashionable, and iconic that deprives the film of atmosphere and emotion.

The story that Battles and his writing partner, Griffin Hood, come up with is a classic damsel in distress, with a few action-packed twists.  The three outlaw brothers, Brick, McQueen, and Lincoln Oodie (portrayed brilliantly by Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmell, and Daniel Cudmore respectively) are just on the wrong side of the law.  However, their felonious escapades usually end up helping to deminish the criminal element in town so Sheriff Millard (played stoically by Andre Braugher), turns a blind eye... it also helps that they sometimes work for him.  Then one day they meet Celeste (Eva Longoria) who hires them to go and get her son Rob away from Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton), who is holding him captive.

Unbeknown to them, Carlos is a major drug dealer, so when they rescue Rob from him they are instantly on his hit list.  Carlos proceeds to send out gang after gang of murderous cutthroats to kill the brothers and bring the boy back to him.

With a cast this good and a story so strong this should have been a magnificently enjoyable action-packed romp.  However, it falls flat and I can only believe it's down to the direction of Battles as well as his desire to create something different.  As I stated previously, all this leaves the film lacking ambiance and leaves it wanting.

The cast and the story do carry the film and keep it from falling too far into banality.  If it's bad outside or your off work ill then this is a decent way to waste a few minutes of your time.

Video Nasty - Bloody Moon

Bloody Moon

1981

Lisa-Film / Metro Film / Rapid Film : Megastar Films / Inter-Light Video / Trans World Entertainment / Video Instant Picture Company

6.0 / 10

Another murder mystery placed under the Horror banner due to the gory content.

This is the story of a twisted and murderous affluent family set in Costa Del Sol, Spain.  Miguel's psyche is broken.  He is in love with his sister and their love has been consummated, though Manuela has now stopped his amorous attentions; she tell's him their feelings are wrong and that he should go back to the party and enjoy himself.  At the party, he picks up a blonde woman and they go back to her room.  Unfortunately, when she spurns his advances Miguel picks up a pair of scissors and brutally and fatally attacks the girl.

This opening sequence, while setting the scene and Miguel's character doesn't feel realistic or believable and that is a big drawback to the story and the movie.

Then after just five years in a mental asylum, he is released into his sister's custody.  Once again this doesn't make much sense as their incestuous affair should have been the talk of the asylum as this is the supposed cause of his breakdown and subsequent murder spree.  It's this and following inconsistencies in the story that make the movie less than it should be.  The writer, Erich Tomek, who didn't want to put his name to it so used the pen name Rayo Casablanca, needed to tighten these elements up and the viewer would have gotten a much better film.  That said, the twists are pretty good, shame they weren't managed better.

The other thing which lets the movie down is the lackluster direction by Jesus Franco, who has a pretty standard and average style.  Again, some differing camera angles and a few artistic shots wouldn't have gone amiss to bring this movie out of its averageness.

 The special effects are okay and passable, though not too realistic.  The big stone cutting saw sequence is actually let down by how fake the decapitated head is; it's pretty close to being laughable.

If you like gory murder mysteries then you may like this though I wouldn't recommend rushing out to purchase a copy, however, if the chance comes up to watch it you could do worse.

Nergling - Video Nasties Scare - Bloody Moon

Video Nasty - Bay Of Blood

Bay Of Blood

1971

Nuova Linea Cinematografica : Hallmark Releasing / Hokushin Audio Visual / Image Entertainment / Arrow Video / Cult Epics / Gorgon Video

8.25 / 10

Bay of Blood is listed as a Mystery, Horror, Thriller film.  Well, two out of three ain't bad... this is NOT a horror film, it doesn't really fall into the Stalker genre either because at it's core is a solid Thriller and Mystery... just with lots of gore...

The opening sequence is a masterful exercise in creating atmosphere and tension as the director, Mario Bava, shows us the death of a wheelchair-bound woman.  Bava gives the audience an uneasy feeling by hinting that something isn't quite right.  The elderly woman wheels herself slowly to the window and looks out, though when she doesn't notice anything amiss she starts back into the house.  Something catches her attention and she turns round towards the window once again.  It's at this point she spots the noose... hands push her towards the awaiting death...  as the rope tightens around her neck, somebody kicks her wheelchair away...  This is shot in minimal light, though Bava makes sure it's not too dark giving the scene an eerie feeling.  This is one of the better opening sequences I've seen in a movie as it immediately grabs the viewer and pulls them headlong into the story...  Who is this woman?  Why has she been murdered?  Who murdered her?  These questions get answered but are replaced with more mysteries in the course of the movie.

The writers, Franco Barberi and Dardano Sacchetti, and screenwriters, Filippo Ottoni, Giuseppe Zaccariello, and Mario Bava, have scripted a tight murder mystery.  As grisly death after grisly death occurs the audience is wondering what is happening as four sightseers are slaughtered.  Slowly, the killer's motives are exposed and revealed to the viewers, with a couple of twists in the tale.  It's a very good story and I didn't really work out whodunnit until it was disclosed.  This was fantastic for me as I usually work out the murderer and their motives well before the reveal.

The special effects are extraordinary, even today... there's one scene where one of the sightseers gets a machete to the face, though the kill shot is off camera the scene where the killer pulls it out of his victims head isn't.  I must admit it's more than a little disturbing due to the reality of the effects.

I'm still not too sure about the ending though.  I have a dark and morbid sense of humour so the finale made me smile, though I don't think it quite fits with the film.  It also has a feeling of being added to try and give the story a moralistic finish.

Should you like murder mysteries then I would advise you to give this a viewing, though you have been warned about the goriness of some of the death scenes.

This has to be one of the strangest and artistic trailers I've ever seen, please give it a watch, though it gives very little away about how good the movie is.

Nergling - The Video Nasties Scare - Bay Of Blood

Book Review - Murder From The Newsdesk

Murder From The Newsdesk

By Peter Bartram

Seven Crampton Of The Chronicle Mystery Stories

The Mystery Of The African Charity

The Mystery Of The Two Suitcases

The Mystery Of The Single Red Sock

The Mystery At The Beauregard Hotel

The Mystery Of The Precious Princess

The Mystery Of The Clothes On The Beach

The Mystery Of The Phantom Santa

9.25 / 10

I chose this book to read and review as part of the Crystal Lake Publishing Readers Book Club April challenge... and I'm glad I did.

Though it's a novella sized book of seven short stories there are two weightier tales, "The Mystery Of The African Charity" and "The Mystery Of The Phantom Santa".  These bookend the much shorter stories and this is a brilliant layout as having the longest story at the beginning gives the reader a chance to familiarise themselves with the main characters, this, in turn, makes the shorter compositions more of a joyous quick romp, I say this as I pretty much devoured this book with a smile on my face; for that I thank you, Mr. Bartram.

Peter Bartram is an excellent writer with a steady and easily readable prose and narrative, who fills the whole story with observations and humour.  I'll admit I'm not a big fan of writing in the first person, though Bartram is definitely a master of this style and crafts his words and characters so perfectly as to make them so believable they come off the page to live in your mind's eye.

Though I really enjoyed all the stories I particularly liked the second story "The Mystery Of The Two Suitcases"  which goes to show how cunning and devious people can be.

Another thing I loved was that for most of the stories the clues are there for you to figure out; I didn't see or smell a single red herring.  Though I tried, I never did quite figure it out, my detective skills must be slipping.  The closest I got way in the last story...  I was close, but not spot-on.

Even the book cover is as well thought-out as the mysteries within.  Its simplicity and style actually drew me to the book.  I notice the others in the series are in a similar style.  Respect to the artist who designed them.

I am looking forward to reading the free novella Murder In Capital Letters and I will make an effort to read the other books in the Colin Crampton series.  I really do like the idea of a crime reporter helping to solve a crime and the character is so well thought out and humorous it would be a shame not to read more.

If you like crime novels or just a good read you cannot go far wrong with this book.

Get The Free Kindle Book At Amazon

Video Nasty - The Burning

The Burning

1981

Miramax / The Cropsy Venture : Filmways Pictures / HandMade Films / 20th Century Fox / Arrow Pictures / Cinefear / Thorn EMI

6 / 10

Time travel exists!  This took me right back to my youth when Friday night was video night and you'd trek around the stores to find the best deals and movies.  You had to work for your entertainment then, there was no pay-per-view or the internet.  Me and my mates would walk miles to get the right films.  Friday night was horror.  Though I never did see this one until now it's so reminiscent of the trash we used to watch that I felt as though I had been transported back in time.

This is the "Death" camp story that so many movie companies released after the success of Friday 13th.  Though this doesn't come anywhere near it does have one hell of a cast, including Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens, Holly Hunter, Ned Eisenberg, Brian Backer, and Leah Ayers.  It even has a soundtrack by The Wizard of the Keyboards Rick Wakeman.  The special effects are designed and created by Tom Savini.

Shame that with all this talent that the story lets them down; and who names a psychotic killer "Cropsy" didn't the writers see "Crapsy" just waiting to be shouted by the critics?  Even though the story isn't a direct rip-off of Friday 13th it's along the same lines, enough so that comparisons can be drawn.  However, it's the inconsistencies that made it irksome to me.  Especially the scene where the canoes have gone so they decide to take a lot of time to find wood and build a raft.  If it takes that much time then how did Crapsy, sorry, Cropsy get there before them... on foot?  Give the audience a little respect.

There are also quite a few dubious directional contretemps.  Such as the obvious doctored still in the end "Mine" sequence.  More so with the raft and canoe scene where the actions, reactions, and the outcome is totally unbelievable; though I shook my head is dismay and laughed, I did like the idea of it.

Even with these niggling elements, it's still entertaining.  I believe this is because of the lightness that permeates most of the film.  It's seventy percent good-natured romp with ten percent seriousness and twenty percent tensity.  It's because of this I would recommend this as a starter for a horrorfest, it'll set you up nicely for a more fulfilling main course.

Nergling - Video Nasties Scare - The Burning

Movie Review - PreVenge

PreVenge

2016

Gennaker / Western Edge Pictures : Front Row Filmed Entertainment / Shudder

7.25 / 10

Isn't Alice Lowe a POWERHOUSE - Go Girl.  Writer, Director and lead in this Psychological thriller, with a spattering of black comedy throughout, about a psychopath's love for her unborn psychotic child.  Sounds brilliant(?)  Well it is... sort of.

This is one of those movies you really do have to stay with.  I very nearly turned off about five minutes in.  You have a scene where Ruth, Alice Lowe, is in a pet store asking the owner about buying a reptile or spider for her eight-year-old son; the more dangerous the better.  I wondered what I'd let myself in for as the banter was banal and atrociously unrealistic.  It was when she dispatched the owner that I began to wonder about her motives.

Unfortunately, the banality and atrocious discourse continued and it wasn't until Ruth puts DJ Dann's mother to bed that I began to warm to the film; it's a touching and humorous scene with melancholy overtones.  It's her first big venture so some leeway can be given, especially when from that pivotal moment in the movie the direction and acting got so much better.

Lowe does a great job of a being an expectant mother and is pretty good at being creepy and threatening, not something you'd expect of a mum-to-be.

Kayvan Novak is brilliant as Tom the climbing instructor.  He's an actor who has a wide range of talents including vocal as he's done a lot of voice-overs.  In SunTrap (TV Series) and Cuban Fury he shows he's adapt to comedy, here he shows that seriousness is easily in his wheelhouse too,  Hope we see more of him.

As the story progresses the audience is imparted to Ruth's and her unborn's reason for their killing spree.

There is some really outstanding mood setting sequences that either get the audience to think, like the very beginning where she's sat alone in the rain; or to feel uneasy as with Ruth's walk entrance to the Halloween party.  Alice Lowe is a Writer, Director, and Actress to watch for in the future.

If the opening sequences were better I would've scored it more.  I would recommend this to all lovers of black humour and psychological thrillers.  You just have to get through the opening fifteen to twenty minutes - it's well worth the slog.  Though if your other half is pregnant... maybe you shouldn't... we don't want her getting any ideas...

Movie Review - 2 Guns: Zero Tolerance

2 Guns: Zero Tolerance

(2015)

Zero Tolerance Films : 4Digital Media / Grindstone Entertainment Group / Lionsgate Home Entertainment

1 / 10

Oh dear lord, this really was a waste of talent.  I find that on the whole most martial arts experts can be quite wooden when it comes to acting, this is probably because the director is focusing on the fight sequences and not too overly bothered by the story or the acting skills of their cast.  This movie has so much wood the DVD player got splinters and was crying out in pain to play me this film.

The only good aspect of this film is Gary Daniels who actually proves his acting ability, which isn't too hard.

The bad thing is I have great respect for, not only Gary Daniels, but the rest of the cast Dustin Nguyen, Scott Adkins, and Kane Kosugi.  So to watch them in something this dire was sad.

I'm going to rest the blame for this travesty on the writer and director Wych Kaosayananda, who's story is drawn out, boring, and depressing; filled with one-dimensional characters who nobody can relate to or empathise with.  His direction is worse than his storytelling.  There is one scene where he shoots upwards at three actors; this means you only see them from the groyne upwards.  Eighty percent of the shot is sky and he even burns this.  Had this been a blue sky with clouds, a fly-by by a plane or a group of birds might have made it artistic; however, it's lazy and badly planned.

It's so bad they even tried a rebranding from Zero Tolerance to leech off the success of the Denzil Washington and Mark Wahlberg film 2 Guns, by adding it to the beginning of their title.  But BEWARE this is NOT a sequel or prequel... it has nothing to do with 2 Guns whatsoever.  Naughty Naughty!!!

If you see this on telly or on a dirt cheap DVD don't be conned into watching it like I was - turn away and run.  There's so much better out there to watch than this.  TRY - 

Scott Adkins - Ninja

Gary Daniels - Game Of Death

Kane Kosugi - DOA: Dead Or Alive

Movie Review - Crossfire

Crossfire

(2012)

Grindstone Entertainment Group / Cheetah Group / EFO Films / Paradox Entertainment / Action Jackson Films / Envision Entertainment / Knightsbridge Entertainment / Lionsgate Productions : KVH Media Group

2.25 / 10

How good should this film have been(?)  Starring Robert De Niro and Forest Whitaker, two great American actors, and 50'Cent Curtis Jackson who I've noticed acting well in other films, this should have been, at the least, a satisfyingly good film.  So when I saw The Sony Movie Channel was airing it I thought I'd give it a view.

DAMN!  This was bad!  If I were any of the actors I wouldn't even consider putting this on my resume.  Robert De Niro played the leader of a group of bad cops, Joe Sarcone, who recruits Malo, Curtis Jackson, and his friends.  These had previously been thugs who had supposedly seen the light but were very quick to jump on board Sarcone's ship (so much for the good guys)  Milo is paired with LaRue, Forest Whitaker, who is a drug addict and will let anybody off if he can score from them.  Even though he's not openly racist he does have a hatred for whites.  This is balanced off by a minor player in the film, Billy Morrison, played brilliantly by Matt Gerald (who is the only acting light in this dire movie), as he has a hatred for anyone not white and is very vocal and aggressive about it.

The only good cop in the whole film is Terrence Burke, played by Robert Wisdom.  He tries to keep his distance from the others and even gets his rookie partner A D, Malcolm Goodwin, to help him train the kids in his area at football.  The only community-minded cop in the city, it would appear. 

Even when the cop who's pursuing Sarcone's mob, Robert Jude (played by Michael McGrady) tries to recruit Malo by telling him what really happened to his father, you get the sense that he isn't as clean as he should be.

This is a pretty depressing tale that paints the majority of police in a bad light stating that most of them are corrupt and on the take.  If I were in this city I'd not ask a policeman directions because they would direct you down an alley, shoot you in the back and steal all your valuables.

The writer, L Phillipe Casseus, gives the audience a bleak tale of greed and depravity in the police force.  This isn't a bad thing, it's been done before; though, it's been done better.  The fault, I believe, lies with the director Jessy Terrero, who probably only got the job because he'd worked with Jackson before.

Most of the scenes are slapdash and so brilliantly set out.  Jackson, most of the time, stumbles around the sets without an idea of what his character is about.  There is one hell of a lot to Malo and giving the role to a newbie, without proper direction, was a bad decision.

De Niro is at his shouty best here; stomping around, hitting and shooting things.  Even though it's nice to see him go berserk he just does it too much - poor guy must have needed some lockets afterwards to soothe his throat.

Forest Whitaker is brilliant as the drug-addled cop... so good that he actually does appear to have been on something.  It was probably needed to get through this rubbish with most of his sanity intact.  But it really didn't help the movie any, it just made his lines seem slurred and indistinguishable.

If you like any of the actors or cop drama's then I would recommend you to stay away from this pile of diatribe.

Movie Review - San Andreas

San Andreas

(2015)

Village Roadshow Pictures / New Line Cinema / RatPac-Dune Entertainment / Flynn Picture Company : Warner Bros / Warner Home Video

8 / 10

This is one of those big Hollywood disaster movies that ticks every box -

- It's BIG - with thanks to today's computer graphics we can now total towns and cities and open up massive chasms in the earth.  We can also fly helicopters through the tumbling skyscrapers and ride speedboats up the mountainous waves of tsunamis.  The action and the special effects are awesome, though they do verge and teeter on the edges of ridiculousness.

- It's Hollywood - the only thing bigger than the effects and the disaster happening on screen is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's aura.  Not only is Johnson a physically immense man but his presence on screen is substantial and powerful.  It was mainly due to this presence, humour, and physicality that I watched WWE and I was pleased to see all those essences worked well on the big screen too.  As time has passed his acting skills have grown, though he doesn't have to call on them too much here as the film is action and effects driven.

As with most movies of this ilk, the story is pretty limited.  A family has split up for the day, going about their daily businesses and routines when the earthquake hits.  Amid the ensuing catastrophe rescue pilot Raymond Gaines (Dwayne Johnson), must rescue his ex-wife and daughter.  This isn't as simple as it sounds, as more buildings fall and water rises the three people have lots of obstacles to overcome before they are reunited.

Director Brad Peyton does a good job of tying all the computer graphics and live action sequences together to give a thrilling and entertaining movie that is full of tension.  Never did I withdraw from the movie once to think, wow isn't that a great effect; there's nothing worse than when a special effect spoils the flow of the story.  That is a great testament to Peyton and the effects team.

Though this is Johnson's film the rest of the cast are above average, especially Paul Giamatti who plays Dr Lawrence Hayes who is in the process of developing an earthquake premonition machine.

If you like films where you can leave your brain at the door then this would definitely be one for you to watch.  If you've had a rough day and need something to relax to then you could try this movie.  If you love disaster films then you need to watch this.

Video Nasty - The Ghastly Ones

The Ghastly Ones

(1968)

ASA Productions : Scorpio Video / Something Weird Video

5.25 / 10

Now, this is the type of wonderfully bad B-Movie I like - It's glorious.  Even the poster is superb in its ambiguity.  Because what you get in this motion picture is a pretty decent whodunit with plenty of red herrings to keep the audience guessing.

Don't get me wrong, this is a bad movie.  Shaky camera work, terrible direction, the acting ranges from poor to average, and the special effects at times are laughable.  But in some strange way, this only adds to its likeability.

I should have hated it but just couldn't, because everybody who took part in the movie really did their best.  Neil Flanagan who played Lawyer Dobbs is obviously much younger than his portrayed character, though this didn't stop him from doing his best with the part, even though the makeup people only covered his face in white talcum powder and put a raggedy old scarf over his head, to make him ancient.

What little budget they had for the film was spent on the few 1800's dresses.  However, when they get frisky, especially Vicky (played pretty decently by Anne Linden), then they take to wearing see-through nylon teddy's.

The most endearing thing about the film is the feeling the actors being real-life friends who had an idea to make a movie.

This isn't the best but it does have heart.  At least worth a viewing for all the lovers of bad movies.  Who knows, maybe it will find a place in your heart.

Nergling - The Video Nasties Scare - The Ghastly Ones

Video Nasty - Absurd

Absurd

(1981)

Filmirage / Metaxa Corporaton : Medusa Pictures / Wizard Video

4.25 / 10

This is the Italian interpretation of John Carpenter's Halloween.  Though, writer George Eastman (who also star's as Mikos Stenopolis) gives the killer a different backstory.  It's this back story which places this film into the thriller genre rather than horror,  Mikos had taken part in some drug trials which a priest was overwatching.  These drugs gave Mikos' blood an ability to coagulate at a rapid rate.  This makes him nearly invincible.  Unfortunately, the drugs also drove him insane.

Mikos stumbles into town and when anybody crosses his path they are compensated with a grisly death.

There's not much else to the story and that's what makes the title of the movie so perfect.  This is an absurd story and film.

There's also very little to love about the movie.  The acting is average.  Sadly the worst actors are the two leads.  Annie Belle as Emily is okay for most of the picture but there are sometimes when she's wooden and stiff.  Her best parts are when she's strapped up in traction.  This isn't all her fault, her character isn't very well written.  In fact, all of the characters seem to be run-of-the-mill and a little dull.

Even though George Eastman wrote the story he decided to give the villain, whom he portrayed, no words.  Which may have been a good thing.  Though Eastman didn't have to worry about fluffing his lines he didn't add much to the character but size... the man is huge.  There were some scenes that could have added to the character.  Even the great non-talkers, Michael Myers and Jason Vorhees, appear evil and psychologically broken; this comes down to how the actor carried himself, he let his body act.  For example, one great scene from Halloween is when Michael lifts a teenager up and then pins him to a wall with a carving knife:  As the man hangs there Michael watches silently, then cocks his head to one side; this little action speaks volumes.  There's nothing like this in Absurd.

The special effects are passable though not great.  This can also be said for Joe D'Amato direction.  Even the music by Carlo Maria Cordio is similar in style to Carpenter's electronic soundtrack.  For the majority of the movie this music is annoying, though surprisingly, it works really well with the end chase scene.

The climax of the movie is pretty decent and does give the audience an iconic shot, which sends a shiver down the spine and they will remember.

This isn't a classic movie and nowhere near to becoming a cult.  If you like Halloween and Friday 13th then you could give this a look-see, it's worth at least one viewing.

Nergling - The Video Nasties Scare - Absurd